Sunday, September 13, 2015

Wheelchair Wars

  Late one night my fiancé, a couple of our friends and I were hanging out. It was getting late. We ate dinner, but we weren't ready to call it a night.

"What do you guys wanna do?" My fiancé asked us. 

  We were in the Walmart parking lot and I was wheeling myself around out of hyper energy.

"I read this funny article online the other day about pranks to get yourself kicked out of Walmart," I said. 

"Oh come on, I spend enough time there during work," one of our friends moaned. 

"Not much else is open besides bars and clubs and I really don't feel like going there," I said. 

"Alright," they acquiesced, and we walked across the parking lot into the store. 

  Walmart is almost always full of shoppers. You can find a diverse group of people - once I met a group of monks. There is a man that works at one location whom I call Hagrid, because he resembles the great grounds keeper from the 'Harry Potter' books. 

  The store was not so crowded. I led my friends to the toy isle. 

"What are we doing here?" my friend asked.

"We are having an epic battle," I said pulling out a red light saber. "But not just any battle, a hide and seek one! Everyone chose your sabers!"

  My fiancé and friends selected their colors: Blue, green and red. I had my own red one.

"Now, the rules are: We split up and hide in different parts of the store. Give it two minutes and then start searching. When you run into someone, engage them in battle. Heart strikes and neck strikes are death marks. When you die, you must return to this area and put up your sword. Last person seeking is the winner."

  We split up. I wheeled away to the towel section and hid behind some laundry baskets. I waited ten minutes, counting the seconds silently in my head. I was barely through, when I saw one of my friends coming around the corner. Immediately, I moved behind some rugs and sped off down the isle, my saber at my back.

  Not too far away, I could hear the sound of sabers engage as two of my friends had found each other and were dueling to the death. It seemed the fight didn't last long,

"Oh man, no! I died" my friend shouted.

"To the post with you." the other said.

  I tried to avoid being seen and somehow managed to slip behind them and down another isle. I wheeled as fast as I could. My fiancé was chasing one friend down the shoe isle. Another friend appeared, following their sounds. He would sneak up on the two of them and engage whoever won. I headed toward the clothes. I knew I could hide easily amongst the racks of shirts.

  Suddenly, I heard my fiancé's shout of defeat and laughter as our friend won their battle. Now it was just me and my friend. He would be searching for me so I decided to avoid hiding and just seek him out. I left the clothes and headed to where I heard my fiancé had been. Just as I was slipping around the corner of the kitchen wares isle, I noticed my friend at the other end, so I turned thinking that he was coming down the next isle and I would sneak up on him. I wheeled slowly, to avoid any metal from clinking on my wheelchair.

  Just as I reached the end of the isle, my friend came around the corner next to me and we were suddenly face to face in combat mode. The battle began. It was short but epic. We pitched our plastic sabers against each other as hard as we could and I was so into it that I shouted my defiance.

"Die, sith scum!"

"You're the one with the red saber," my friend shot back at me.

"Your friend stole mine so I had to take this off the body of a dead Sith," I improvised.

"Admit it, you've embraced the dark side," my friend said.

"Never!" I shouted.

  It was hard to maneuver my wheelchair while I fought, but fortunately I was able to use the tires to buffer a few of my friend's blows. Just as I thought I might win, my friend and I made the same motion and our light sabers struck each other in the neck at the same time!

"Wow, I can't believe we both did that." I laughed.

"So what, it's a tie?" my friend asked.

"I guess so," I smiled.

  We went back to where our other friends and my fiancé waited.

"Looks like a draw," I said. "We killed one another at the same time, by striking each other in the neck," we all laughed.

"Well that was fun," I said, "but we didn't get kicked out."

"I don't think anyone really cared." my fiancé said looking around.

"No, I guess not," I said. "But it was a lot of fun and will make for a great story."
  

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